Whats your addiction?

There are many taboo’s regarding the topic of addiction. Indeed it is also so that there is a lack of understanding, empathy and tolerance towards those who are said to be addicted, and it is often the case for families affected too. It is a sad fact that the person said to be addicted finds out too late that there is a problem in the first place, but too late for whom? – The family, friends, work colleagues, or, most of all, the addicted themselves.

If you look at the dictionary definitions of the main topical words, you will see that there are a number in common:Addicted, condition, habit, depend, devote. All these words are inducing the process of destroying a whole family unit, as devotion turns from those important to the addicted person, to the substance controlling them, and the habit makes them dependent upon it. But it is not just the addict who suffers.

If you look at all the ‘question’ words, what, why, where, when, who and how, they will become important factors in the process of recovery as there can’t be a start process until there are answers, but at the same time trying to get the answers involves a certain amount of commitment from the addicted and the immediate affected persons.

First of all there has to be the admission. This can only come from the addicted, and it is very often the end of the road for any family or work life before the recovery process can begin to put their lives back together again. Indeed, recovery is an on-going process, for the rest of their lives, whatever the addiction. It will never go away, so understanding this is one of the first steps to recovery.

So, when does it become an addiction? Is it when it affects your own life or that of others? Does the addicted see it as a controlled commodity, therefore can’t see the addiction at all? There is a very fine line between accusation and the realisation that there is a problem in the first place.

One of the first steps to recovery is knowing that there is a problem and this is the crucial time where any good intentions could be destroyed if not handled in the correct manner. It is a time to ‘suggest’ that there might be a problem, to gently prime the addicted person into the right frame of mind in order to accept any help being offered, and for them to be prepared to take the steps to do something about it.

It is important to keep an open mind and know the options open in the recovery process. In all of this, empathy rather than sympathy is important. The addicted will feel guilt and may be suffering from a personality disorder either as a result of the addiction or from an hereditary aspect so it has to be the strength of those willing and able to help, that gets them through, although it has to be said that if the addict doesn’t want or is unwilling to accept the help, then the whole process of recovery will be fruitless.

It is also important to mention that it is by no means a cut and dry situation. All concerned will have to be prepared for set backs, relapses and hard times to come, but there has to be willing participation from the addicted person before the long process can be started.

So, in order to start the recovery process for a friend or loved on, what are the questions that need to be asked?

Who is affected? What is the problem? i.e. substance abuse, alcohol, eating disorder etc. Why did it start? eg. control, image, self esteem. Where is the first port of call for help? How do you approach the problem? Once the answers to all of the above are known, then the first gentle and tentative steps to recovery can start.